How Busy is Too Busy?

Once again I have utterly failed to post on a weekly basis. Although I guess this is "a" week, so it's not totally inaccurate. I hope you'll be able to forgive me, I've kind of had my hands (well, arms, to be precise) full.

That brings me to the topic I want to talk about today. How busy is too busy? I'm having a lot of difficulty balancing my responsibilities at home - my wife and baby daughter, with my responsibilities at work and to my Fire Department. Something has got to give, and lately, it's been my attendance at the Department.

Now, I'm not getting the sense from my Chief and Deputy Chief that this is a huge problem. They're both fathers, and they understand what is required of a new dad. I've definitely been catching a bit of flack from some of the other firefighters, though - and I know where they are coming from. We all rely on each other to be available and help out, that's the way a volunteer department functions, and lately, I just haven't been there.

There is a level of personal frustration, too. I want to be a good firefighter, to help out, to be available to assist a group of guys who I like and respect. But when I come home at the end of the day to a tired wife who needs a break, and a little baby… I just can't justify grabbing a quick bite to eat and leaving again. Besides, I only get a few hours with Iris before I go to bed.

So, I think I'm going to have to take a leave of absence from the Fire Department for a while. I don't want my responsibilities there to be an afterthought. If I don't have time, I should make it clear to everyone, instead of finding myself unable to attend practices or help out around the hall, week after week. I'm not happy about it, but it feels better than leaving things so unsettled.